You know what they say! One man’s tragic flaw is another man’s pretty reasonable personality asset under the circumstances, I guess. Do…do they say that?
THIS IS AMAZING.
Also leads me to wonder more about various other characters-by-the-same-author-getting-swapped.
ELIZABETH BENNET IN MANSFIELD PARK
HENRY CRAWFORD: Damn girl you are fly!
EDMUND BERTRAM: Mary who?
TOM BERTRAM: Marry me even though I am a minor character, you know minor characters will treat you right.
(confession: I am not able to think of Elizabeth Bennet except in terms of ‘Damn girl you are fly.’)
MISS MARPLE AS HASTINGS IN A POIROT NOVEL
POIROT: My dear and respected aged madam, listen to my quick wit in detecting-
MISS MARPLE: *sniffs* I solved this case in the time it took you to perfectly arrange your excessively foreign moustache.
POIROT: I couldn’t convict this murderer SO I MURDERED HIM.
MISS MARPLE: That seems excessive when one can just ASSAULT PEOPLE WITH GARDENING TOOLS.
POIROT: The crimes of England are all solved. The manors of England are all ablaze.
MISS MARPLE: Well, that escalated quickly.
(and, egotistically) NICK RYVES IN UNSPOKEN
KAMI: I’m going to do a piece on you in my school newspaper! Please answer these questions: a) age b) current address c) so you’re a demon from another world, what’s that like? Also can we take your picture?
NICK: Sure. Enjoy. I’m not wearing a shirt. The world should know.
KAMI: Do you even own a shirt?
NICK: Is this still part of the interview or is it a come-on?
KAMI: It’s not a come-on. No. No. Nope.
NICK: You like a dude with a shirt?
KAMI: I like a dude with feelings. Lots of feelings. Like, a chocolate selection box full of exciting and conflicting emotion.
NICK: I had a feeling one time.
KAMI: I’m very happy for you.
NICK: It was about my brother.
KAMI: I’m very sad for him.
NICK: I don’t know why, but as a sex demon I enjoy a challenge. Can I get your number?
KAMI: You can have this number. It is the number of a pizza place.
NICK: … I like pizza.